Seminarian’s Keyboard: How often do we doubt in the Lord’s providence and love? Some days we may not feel His love, or we may feel abandoned. Yet, we must not give in to the temptation to lose faith. As we hear in the Gospel today, “When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted.” Even the Apostles, who knew Christ and followed Him everywhere, sometimes doubted. Doubt should not shake our faith. In fact, it is a grace from God. If faith were easy, it would not be worth anything. Those days when we doubt, when faith and trust are difficult, are the days when we glorify God the most. Overcoming that doubt and uncertainty and loving God despite the struggle truly reveals our love for Him.
Christ tells His Apostles to “go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations.” He does not tell them to only do so those days when they are absolutely convinced of His divinity. He tells us that He will be with us “always, until the end of the age.” Even when we feel alone, God will always be with us. It is okay to feel doubt, to feel like we might actually be alone. What matters is how we react to this feeling. Do we confront it, do we bring it to Christ and tell Him about our loneliness, or do we allow it to consume us? Do we continue to worship and glorify God, despite the challenge, or do we fall victim to this temptation and turn from God?
Pray continuously for trust in the Lord. Pray in moments of consolation for future strength in times of darkness. Pray in moments of doubt for renewed faith in the Lord. Pray to saints who persevered through this doubt, such as Saint Mother Theresa. Above all, pray.
Your Brother in Christ,
John Winslow
3rd College Seminarian